i have a love/hate relationship with that word. i love that it brings excitement and expectation into my life, but i hate that it means i have to wait and wonder about things to come. the waiting part is pretty easy, especially since there's really nothing i can do to speed things up. it's the wondering part that's a real killer. have you ever wondered about something and then found yourself being consumed by that thought, unable to escape it? the thing about wondering is that you never really know how it turns out because it's all in your imagination.

i think it's funny how our impatient human nature figured out a way to make time speed up without time actually speeding up. no wonder people are so disappointed when they experience the real world. we spend our time dreaming up an awesome scenario and when we are faced with reality, we take a step back and think, "wait a minute, it's not supposed to be like this..." but i'm being pessimistic again.

on a brighter note, anticipation gives us hope and expectation, which gives us the strength and courage to move on. even if the real world fails to live up to our expectations, i think what allows us to continue to live in that reality is the fact that we choose to have hope and anticipate the good in this broken world. as stubborn as that makes us humans sound, i would rather be stubborn and continue to anticipate the good than give up all hope and live a disappointed life.

as summer begins, i will continue my love/hate relationship with anticipation and wonder about how things will go down this fall when i move to a different city, start law school and attempt to build a new life 2,000 miles away from home.

it's exciting and terrifying at the same time.
but i am comforted knowing that my shepherd will be with me every step of the way.