done with my first semester of law school.

i was talking to my aptmate last night and i realized that the first semester wasn't as bad as i expected. sure, finals week was still hell, but it was different than college finals because i actually knew the material that i was studying. college finals = learning all the stuff you should've learned throughout the quarter. law school finals = making sure all the stuff you already learned throughout the semester stays in your head. sure, my social life consisted of saying hi to classmates before class and complaining about larc with my aptmates, but i had no qualms about spending more time with books than with people because that's the reason why i came all the way to chicago for school.

after getting through one semester, i decided that this law school thing is doable after all. looking back, there are a couple of things that helped me survive this semester: constant prayer by my family, my awesome aunt and her family who live in chicago (seriously, would not have survived without them), my small group (hanging out with non-law school people is key), ichat sessions with family and friends, a few chill classmates, and constant reminders that God is in control so i don't have to worry about the future so long as i am doing my best in the present.

the key to law school, and even life, is to take it one step at a time. i stopped thinking about getting a job, passing the bar and getting good grades. i just focused on doing my best in the moment because if i did my best in every moment, then the end result will reflect that, right? even if it doesn't, i think i'll be content knowing that i did my best and anything less than what i expect is merely because that's how things are supposed to turn out. don't get me wrong, i still had moments when i was stressed out about school and my future, but those were passing moments. the theme for me this semester was this: God is in control. he really was... and still is.

in three hours, i'll be on a plane. LA, i'm coming home! =]

now i'm starting to understand why people say law school is hard.
the material isn't hard at all. you just have to use common sense. the hard part is time management. law school keeps you busy. it's no joke. i wish i had one of those time turning things that hermione had in harry potter.

every week, i have anywhere from 40-50 pages of reading for each class. whenever i'm not reading, i'm spending the rest of the day reading supplements and outlining in preparation for the final that our entire grade is based on. on top of that, the legal research and writing class assignments take up way too much time. it's like they're trying to see how much stuff they can load on you before you have a breakdown.

despite all that, i am enjoying school. it's actually scary how happy i am walking around with my seven-pound casebooks and eating cereal bars for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. but i am glad that i am enjoying school because there is no way i would've survived if i didn't like law school. i feel like most students have a love-hate relationship with school. they love the cases and rules that they learn in class, but they hate their non-existence social life outside of the classroom.

as for me, i'm okay with not being as social as i was before because i know that this is only a season in my life. every morning i start my day by reading the word. God is actually the only one i communicate with every day and it's been good.

in a month, i'll be taking my first set of finals. i'm sure i'll worry and be stressed out, but i think a part of me will be at peace knowing that God is in control.

during winter break, when i am back in la, i'll write about my experience in the past couple months. but until then, please keep me in your prayers in the next month as my semester comes to an end and as i prepare for my finals.

much love.

i started attending a korean church here in chicago. so naturally, we sing chris tomlin and hillsong and the like during worship. i've gotten so used to gospel songs and mosaic worship that it took a while for me to get familiar with the songs again. it's been a good process because i found myself actually focusing on the words more than i usually do with chris tomlin songs. back in the day, we used to sing the same songs over and over again that i would sing them without thinking about the lyrics. these days, those words that i used to take for granted actually seem alive. there's something uplifting about these songs that i never really noticed before.

here's a current fav.



our God is greater. 
our God is stronger. 
God, you are higher than any other.
our God is healer. awesome in power. our God.

it's been two months since i moved to chicago.

law school isn't that bad. it's just a huge time commitment. i go to class, then spend the rest of the day reading and outlining. 12 hours a day. i often find myself resorting to microwavable food just so i can spend that extra time getting more reading done. despite my lack of a social life and back pains due to my heavy casebooks, i really enjoy my classes.

eight weeks into school and i haven't had any regrets. yet.
ask me if i feel the same way after the semester ends in december.

leaving la in a week and a half.
gonna miss the awesome weather, food and crazy people.

but i'm sure i'll find all that in chi-town. minus the weather, of course.
i hear chicago has an awesome jazz community. plus their architecture is amazing.

i have a feeling these next three years are gonna go by fast.
it's gonna be a crazy ride.
i can't wait.

my favorite time of the day is when the world around me turns into a big black silhouette. i love seeing the outlines of trees and buildings against the darkening sky because in that moment when my world turns black, i am able to turn my eyes to something greater than myself, the artwork of the Creator.

a great man died on friday.

thanks to my mom, i grew up knowing who john wooden was, his legacy and his wisdom. i even had the honor of meeting him in person.

also thanks to my mom, we own just about every book written by him. in reading his books, it is undeniable that this man was more than just a great coach. he was a man who strived to live a perfect life and although it is impossible to live a perfect life, i believe that john wooden came very close.

here is an excerpt from one of his books, wooden: a lifetime of observations and reflections on and off the court:

early on i came to believe that you should learn as if you were going to live forever, and live as if you were going to die tomorrow. what does this mean? in the simplest way, i would explain it like this.

always be learning, acquiring knowledge, and seeking wisdom with a sense that you are immortal and that you will need much knowledge and wisdom for that long journey ahead. know that when you are through learning, you are through.

but i want to live that life as if i were going to die tomorrow: with relish, immediacy, and the right priorities. i also will not waste even a minute.

thanks coach for being a true role model.

i have a love/hate relationship with that word. i love that it brings excitement and expectation into my life, but i hate that it means i have to wait and wonder about things to come. the waiting part is pretty easy, especially since there's really nothing i can do to speed things up. it's the wondering part that's a real killer. have you ever wondered about something and then found yourself being consumed by that thought, unable to escape it? the thing about wondering is that you never really know how it turns out because it's all in your imagination.

i think it's funny how our impatient human nature figured out a way to make time speed up without time actually speeding up. no wonder people are so disappointed when they experience the real world. we spend our time dreaming up an awesome scenario and when we are faced with reality, we take a step back and think, "wait a minute, it's not supposed to be like this..." but i'm being pessimistic again.

on a brighter note, anticipation gives us hope and expectation, which gives us the strength and courage to move on. even if the real world fails to live up to our expectations, i think what allows us to continue to live in that reality is the fact that we choose to have hope and anticipate the good in this broken world. as stubborn as that makes us humans sound, i would rather be stubborn and continue to anticipate the good than give up all hope and live a disappointed life.

as summer begins, i will continue my love/hate relationship with anticipation and wonder about how things will go down this fall when i move to a different city, start law school and attempt to build a new life 2,000 miles away from home.

it's exciting and terrifying at the same time.
but i am comforted knowing that my shepherd will be with me every step of the way.

whether or not we are aware of it, we all have a safe place that we go to whenever life seems to let us down. for most, it is an actual place like a coffee shop, our home or the beach. for some, it is doing an activity that, for a moment, takes us away from our disappointing reality like running, sleeping or watching a movie.

my safe place is the infinite and indescribable world of music. unlike my reality, music never fails to comfort me. i love when music reveals itself to me in an entirely new way, bringing me joy in the midst of this broken, dark world. i drown myself in the words, rhythms and melodies of people who are able to express what is going on inside of them. i allow myself to get carried away by the artist's emotions and experience because for that moment, i am free from the responsibilities and realities of my life.

often times, i am jealous of musicians because they are able to identify the emotions, confusion and madness that is going on inside of themselves. even though nothing much changes for them in respect to the circumstances they are in, for the period of time that they are singing, their mind is allowed to run away and rest in their safe place. i am thankful for these artists for allowing me to run away and rest with them.

recently, all the songs i've been listening to contain the word hallelujah. something about that word comforts me more than any other word. after looking up the definition, i understood why. hallelujah means praise God. truly, God is the greatest comforter one could ever have and that is definitely worth all my praise.

nobody trips over mountains. it is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

-author unknown

it's time to strip everything away and go back to the basics...

for real this time.

learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

albert einstein

listening to john torres' hallelujah on repeat.

slow rhythm.
powerful words.
strong keys.

gives me peace and joy in the midst of the chaos and the ordinary.

i stole this from my brother's blog because it made me smile. =)

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said. His mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”
Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”
God said: “When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”
“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.”
-Unknown

i went to the griffith park observatory for the first time the other day and i gotta admit the stuff inside the observatory didn't impress me much. there were displays and videos of the planets and solar system. you know, typical stuff. but the show was surprisingly good. it was about the stars, planets, our solar system, our galaxy and beyond. the beyond part caught me off guard. sure, we always talk about how vast the universe is, that we are even smaller than dust compared to the rest of the universe. but actually seeing our planet disappear into a never-ending mass of stars and space made me realize how small and insignificant i really am. quite depressing to think about it that way.

it made me wonder about God and how great he must be if he is God of even the universe. the crazy thing is this: out of all the infinite amount of things he could care about in the universe, God chose to care about us, about me. i mean, what the heck, who does that? not only are we smaller than the dust in the universe, but we are constantly rejecting and disappointing God. i still don't completely understand why God still chooses to care for us. but boy, am i glad he does.

as insignificant as i felt while watching the show at the observatory, it comforts me to know that God is a God who pays attention to the details. he knows exactly where we are and what we are doing. in the vast expanse of space, we are like bright stars, shining brilliantly to our viewer, God.

trusting God. it seems like such a simple and easy statement, but it isn't.

what does it mean to be a good person?

the past couple of weeks have been difficult. but alas, it is a new year. although nothing much about the way i look or live my life has changed from 2009 to 2010, just the thought that this is a new year gives me hope for a brighter future.