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Blue Orange Green Pink Purple

live well, learn plenty, laugh often, love much

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


if the Lord delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
psalm 37:23-24

word envy

words have never made sense to me.

countless times i have sat with a paper and a pen, trying to write lyrics, trying to write words. but no matter how hard i try, i am lost in the midst of words. all i hear are new melodies and abstract phrases that cannot be captured and put down as words.

people say that i should feel blessed for being able to speak to people through the canvas. but as for me, i stop in my tracks when i hear words. words that speak truth, words that penetrate deep into my soul where no canvas or artwork can ever go.

so the question i ask God is this, "why didn't you give me words when words are the key to unlocking my inner thoughts and feelings?"

i know i am asking for a lot. i want to get as much as i give.

but then i realized. words don't make sense to me because if it did, i would want to keep it all to myself. by making me desire for something i don't have, i have to turn to those God has blessed with words. through them, he speaks to me words that i would not hear if it came directly from me. if words made sense to me, i would want to pick and choose what i want to hear, not letting God give his two cents. through others, i am more willing to hear, more willing to listen.

in the end, i guess God knew what he was doing...
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    thoughts are like math problems. sometimes you have to write it down on paper for it to make sense.
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