our society tends to idolize famous people like actors, singers, athletes... it makes sense that we do. everyday we are constantly bombarded by images and videos of celebrities, showing off their extravagant life to us and telling us that we could have the same thing. it makes you wonder, though, what is their life really like? is it really like how it appears to be on camera? is it just like us? or is it worse?

i don't really follow the tabloids on celebrities because half the time i don't know who they are. but i will admit that there are a couple of nba players i like to keep tabs on. just because. i like to read up on dwayne wade's stats, make sure the lakers are doing well, and see what dwight howard has been up to. but once in a while, i'll stumble across some news about my players that disappoint me. such as dwayne wade getting a divorce and dwight howard having an illegitimate child with an nba dancer.

after sulking for a while, i realized that these nba players are just like us. in the sense that they, too, are broken people. i think because they are in the spotlight, i have greater expectations from them. i expect them to be just like how they appear on tv, on those t-mobile commercials. i am not making excuses for their actions. since they are in the spotlight, they should be more careful and think about the things they do, even more so than normal people. however, i can't be one to judge them for their actions.

i have decided that i no longer want to know the details of celebrities' personal lives. i am perfectly happy just being entertained by what they do on the screen, like dwight howard's superman dunk.

words have never made sense to me.

countless times i have sat with a paper and a pen, trying to write lyrics, trying to write words. but no matter how hard i try, i am lost in the midst of words. all i hear are new melodies and abstract phrases that cannot be captured and put down as words.

people say that i should feel blessed for being able to speak to people through the canvas. but as for me, i stop in my tracks when i hear words. words that speak truth, words that penetrate deep into my soul where no canvas or artwork can ever go.

so the question i ask God is this, "why didn't you give me words when words are the key to unlocking my inner thoughts and feelings?"

i know i am asking for a lot. i want to get as much as i give.

but then i realized. words don't make sense to me because if it did, i would want to keep it all to myself. by making me desire for something i don't have, i have to turn to those God has blessed with words. through them, he speaks to me words that i would not hear if it came directly from me. if words made sense to me, i would want to pick and choose what i want to hear, not letting God give his two cents. through others, i am more willing to hear, more willing to listen.

in the end, i guess God knew what he was doing...